i carry no arms

my own deniability
is thrown out...as a joke in front of me
the sick is in my throat
and i see now
i admitted my weakness
now its a thing used to choke me
by my own hand!~ it chokes me
this reaction is absurd.
unacceptable.
i've traveled too far from center

Same Mistake

Same Mistake 
James Blunt

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.

Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet.

Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.

Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go.

My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?

I lose the track that loses me, so here I go.

And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night.

Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,

So I set out to cut myself and here I go.

I'm not calling for a second chance,

I'm screaming at the top of my voice.

Give me reason but don't give me choice.

'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.

And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.

Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep.

And my reflection troubles me, so here I go.

I'm not calling for a second chance,

I'm screaming at the top of my voice.

Give me reason but don't give me choice.

'Cause I'll just make the same mistake,

I'm not calling for a second chance,

I'm screaming at the top of my voice.

Give me reason but don't give me choice.

'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.

Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars.

Look at the stars fall down.

And wonder where did I go wrong.

I Won.

To be, or not to be– that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

And, by opposing, end them.

 

Wiser

"next time I will choose more wisely"
"no no no"
"?"
"no....next time, be chosen more wisely"

Rediscover who you were...before you became that person who accepted the insults, the loneliness, the mistrust, the doubt, the fear.....

Learn to stand on your own...love who you are and who you have grown to be...

Look to the skies and let the sun shine on your face....

Don't run to escape the rain....learn to love the tickle of the drops...

Learn to breathe again.

The hands grew tired and old from hanging so tightly to a memory of what once was or what once could have been.  Open them wide now, and Let Go!

Don't fear your sarcasm...it's endearing.

Don't sensor that loud honk of a laugh you have, it's fantastic and contagious.

Then, for all those reasons....let him choose you.  Let him choose you as you are...not for who he would like to mold you into. 

You are not a horse to be broken.

Next time....this time....be chosen more wisely.