i beg of you merciful death, let your cold hand find me in this unending darkness....find me here sobbing in this bed of self pity. i long to feel nothing. i long for the touch of your withered fingers upon my eyes. close them. allow me to slip away into an empty dream. an empty lifeless dream.
the pain is unbearable. my deniability is lost and my dignity is a distant memory. a time when i walked so proud....the earth was beneath my feet, -that- i was confident of...no need to stare at them while i walked down streets with hope and pride...but now i stare, because i'm not so sure where my steps will land. if they will land. i hang my head because i fear catching the eye of another, and having them see the weakness in me...what would they care beyond that moment of a passing glimpse really? who cares anyway.
oh i'm so exhausted. this race is a tiresome one that has lead no where...and we all rush through it...to what end? here and now. sooner or later we all lay here, begging for the mercy of nothingness. bring it to me now and spare me the agonizing drone of passing time...
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